why is it considered cocky to share the best parts of ourselves with others? where do we get this idea that humility means presenting less of yourself to others?
humility is the defining characteristic of an unpretentious and modest person, someone who does not think that he or she is better or more important than others.
if we present less of ourselves to feel humble, we must feel that we are better or more important than others. we must feel that we need to be less in order not to appear better. this is false humility. this is, in fact, no humility at all.
to be at your best and still believe that you are no better or more important than any other is true humility. it also empowers those around you by acknowledging that they are as important and as good as your best self. unfortunately, cultural consciousness traps us in a mentality of less-than-ness. if you are something that i admire, than i am less than you. we cannot admire each other, without denigrating ourselves. the opposite is true as well, that we cannot admire ourselves without denigrating each other.
i seek mutual admiration, mutually empowering. i seek my own infinite potential, and i encourage you to seek your own. your best will only empower my best. your worst will only seek to better both of us. and i will bless you for it. you cannot be less than you are. you are more and forever growing.
who you are now creates who you are tomorrow, and if you seek to be better tomorrow, bless today, whatever it is, as a step towards tomorrow.
if there is even a smidgen of goodness in your life - and there must be, or you are not looking closely enough - everything else is for that. changing even one thing creates a butterfly effect, making some things possible and others not so. everything is necessary to create even the smallest goodness, and even the smallest goodness is worth infinitely more than great bad. that you have been protected from other great bads is, in itself, a great good. bless all of it, for you have no idea what could or could not have been as a result. imagine the possibilities! all moment is pregnant with potential. all moment is pure creation. all moment is necessary. all moment is awesome.
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Here is what Thomas Merton had to say about humility:
ReplyDeleteHumility sets us free to do what is really good, by showing us our illusions and withdrawing our will from what was only an apparent good.
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Lord, you have taught us to love humility, but we have not learned. We have learned to love the outward surface of it — the humility that makes a person charming and attractive. We sometimes pause to think about these qualities, and we often pretend that we possess them, and that we have gained them by “practicing humility.”If we were really humble, we would know to which extent we are liars!
Teach me to bear a humility which shows me, without ceasing, that I am a liar and a fraud and that, even though this is so, I have an obligation to strive after truth, to be as true as I can, even though I will inevitably find all my truth half poisoned with deceit. This is the terrible thing about humility: that it is never fully successful. If it were only possible to be completely humble on this earth. But no, that is the trouble: You, Lord, were humble. But our humility consists in being proud and knowing all about it, and being crushed by the unbearable weight of it, and to be able to do so little about it.
How stern You are in Your mercy, and yet You must be. Your mercy has to be just because Your Truth has to be True. How stern You are, nevertheless, in Your mercy: for the more we struggle to be true, the more we discover our falsity. Is it merciful of Your light to bring us, inexorably, to despair?
No– it is not to despair that You bring me but to humility. For true humility is, in a way, a very real despair: despair of myself, in order that I may hope entirely in You.
something like we are liars and frauds, yes, but not in this terrible sense of being a liar or a fraud. but that we lie, and we are fraudulent. at times, of course... how not? so much of what i have said and done is a lie. though i may not have known it in the past. probably, i fought more vehemently about those things. probably i still do.
ReplyDeletebut of course.
how to get better, if at first we weren't worse? relativity, certainly. and getting better is the most fun. so embrace that we are liars and frauds, not necessarily so woe is me about it, i don't think.
and not necessarily that humility can never be practiced, but that we aren't currently doing it. or at least, not most of us. because we are so unwilling to consider ourselves liars or frauds - despite the sheer obviousness. no, we would rather stop moving forward than admit that we could have been wrong about something.
the overall tone, however, is rather desperate; i agree. is it merciful of Your light to bring us, inexorably, to despair?...
i guess i'm a little more joyful about it.
defined only in relation to what i'm not.
even now i'm being fraudulent.
it's definitely an evolution thing. but i think moment to moment, you can be real. obviously looking back you might find fault with yourself because you have changed. but that has nothing to do with the present.
ReplyDeletethe past has to do with the present, but only in the sense that it helped you to get there. in this sense, if you are happy with the present, then don't blame the past for anything.
ReplyDeletebut, yes. agreed.
you shouldn't blame it regardless. you can't let the past drain your energy right now because it's a total waste. the past is useful for active learning but if you are sad because of the past it's useless.
ReplyDeleteso we're agreed. it's just that most people are sad about the past. and thus, useless.
ReplyDelete